WHAT is EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED THERAPY (EFT)?
In treating couples, I use an intervention called Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) developed by Susan Johnson. EFT is an empirically validated couple therapy with a 70-75% recovery rate. EFT has three phases:
- De- escalation of negative interaction – In this phase, we define the conflict issues which result in repetitive distressing negative interactions. Underlying and unacknowledged emotions and needs are identified and accessed. The couple is able to see the cycle as the common enemy which keeps them from having a safe base from which they can talk about feelings, needs and solutions to problems.
- Restructuring the bond – Negative cycles between partners involves a variation in which one partner tends to pursue and the other to withdraw. Underlying this distressed cycle are disowned emotions and needs within and between the partners. In phase II, emphasis is placed on identifying how each partner contributes to the pursue/withdraw cycle and the underlying disowned emotions and needs of each partner so that they can be integrated into the relationship adding to a fresh and vital sense of one another. Partners learn to communicate in ways that create safe emotional engagement.
There is back and forth movement between phase I and II.
- Consolidation – In this, the briefest phase, with increased trust and appreciation of each partner’s emotions and needs, there is a shift to new patterns of interaction which are reviewed and reinforced. Partners are able to report new ways that they handle conflict and emotions now as compared to the past.
EFT is a powerful process that helps couples reconnect with their longing which underlie states of depression, anxiety, and over/under emotional reactivity. The therapist is a “process consultant” who does not take sides with each partner. With the goal of creating a safe haven for them to reveal their feelings and needs about past and present events, the therapist facilitates the dialogue between the couple guiding the partners to look at the feelings beneath the negative patterns and to talk from that more open place. The goal of EFT is to strengthen the relationship bond in order to create friendship, security, intimacy and pleasure.